![]() ![]() ![]() He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano. So, the man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, all of about maybe 12 inches tall, and he sets him on the counter. The bartender walks up and says, “Hey, what's in the bag?” He sits down and places the bag on the counter. YOUR MEAN-SPIRITED, CRASS REMARKS ARE WHOLLY OUT OF PLACE IN WHAT SHOULD BE A LIGHTHEARTED, FAMILY-FRIENDLY PERFORMANCE!!! MAY I PLEASE HAVE A WORD YOUR SUPERVISOR?Ī man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He thrust out his chest and said in the loudest voice you can imagine: The man rose to his feet, full of confidence. The man arrived at the circus tent very early, making sure to get the seat in section A, row Y, seat 42. Ready the jet!" As the plane crossed the downlands of Michigan, the man savored the moment of victory that was to be his. "Siegfried," cried the man to his assistant, "We must be away to Manitoba. One day, while sitting at his desk reading his hometown newspaper, the man noticed that the circus was coming to his hometown again. Everyone from Pentagon pundits to Beltway bandits consulted the man on technical questions of QWR. Word had even reached western Manitoba, which made his mother very proud. By this time, the man was known throughout the world as the leading expert in Quick Wit Retort. In 5 years, the man had finished his doctorate. Needless to say, the man promptly moved to Cambridge. "If you complete our masters/doctoral tenured track program in QWR, you will never have to worry about money again," said he. The graduate admissions officer didn't mince words. Some days afterward, Harvard University sent a lear-jet to pick the man up for an interview. He was awarded numerous distinctions, and when he graduated, the graduation speaker Ed Meese awarded the man the Presidential Medal of Outstanding Quick Wit Retort, signed by Ronnie himself! To make a long story short, the man made straight A's in the QWR program. We would be most gratified if you could come to UNLV to complete your degree with our fine academic institution. It read:ĭear Sir: We are utterly flabbergasted at your performance in Quick Wit Retort 101. Much to his surprise, a registered letter arrived from the president of UNLV. In a few weeks, the man mastered the materials, and sent the final back to UNLV. He picked up the curriculum guide for the University of Nevada at Las Vegas (UNLV) correspondence courses and started to read.Įventually his eyes came to rest on an advert for a class in "Quick Wit Retort." "Learn how to use those snappy comebacks to your advantage, now!" So the man sent in his $19.95 and soon received the course materials. "I'm not going to get mad, I'm going to get even, and avenge the honor of myself, my family, and this town," exclaimed the man. Eventually reason overcame his grief and the man grew determined. Returning home, the man wept for days, and mourned the loss of dignity and honor. The man, dumbfounded, stood for a moment, then made his way quickly through crowd and out of the tent. The young man stood up.Ĭlown sez, "Wellllll, there's the horse's ass, now where's the rest of the horse?" The young man looked at his ticket, and to his surprise, he was sitting in that very seat. "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please stand up?" The volksie pulled up to center of the ring, and an overweight clown with orange hair, acne, and a purple nose advanced to the podium: They rode around by the gross in a purple volkswagon. At last, the clowns came out in full regalia and green hair. He arrived before dawn to get the best seat in the house, and was seated hours before the first trapeze act.įinally, the trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring performance, the elephants danced, and the lion tamer tamed. Anyway, as circus days drew nigh, the young man grew ever more excited. He was very excited, as he lived in western Manitoba and had never seen a circus before the kind of town where you shave and the trolly stops. Once upon a time, a young man went to the circus. ![]()
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